Things of Importance

There are many things in life that are important.  First and foremost, you and your own happiness is essential.  This may sound self-centered, but it is very true.  If you don't take care of yourself, after you know how, who will?  When you are a baby, people fuss and fume over you, cleaning you, dressing you, feeding you, and hopefully, loving you.
As you grow up you learn all these things and you take care of yourself.  If you don't feel valued, you search for validation for your own self, and that my friend can be a long and tedious battle. 

No one outside of yourself can validate you.  You can look and look for acceptance and friendship and something that makes you feel worth while.  But all the while you are empty.  The days can be long and gray, without color, without joy, without hope.  The search is never ending because we all want to matter to someone.  People need people. 

If you are a creature of habit, you repeat the same things in every new situation.  You act the same, say the same things, and repeat  your recorded messages to every new person you meet.  These recorded messages are the pathways in the brain where you store your personality as it is built.  You are a collection of  things you've heard all your life and the things you have read and assimilated happenings of your whole life.  All of who you are is stored in your brain and it is a lot to consider.

You are unique.  There is no one else like you on planet earth.  You are capable of many things.  If you don't receive recognition as a child, sometimes you act out and throw tantrums.  You can't do that as an adult, so best to get that out of your system as a child.  Parent's who don't know how to deal with this, revert to spankings, and sending children to their rooms.....where they continue to rant and rave.  You can't reason with a child, they don't understand.  But if you wait till the tantrum is over, and then pick the child up and teach them how to use their "words" to express themselves, the breaking of day can dawn in that little child's life to give him control over himself.

One of our grandchildren is really good at throwing fits.  At least he use to be.  But our daughter was a Pre-School teacher and she knows how to deal with tantrums successfully.  She taught him to use "his words".  She'd tell him when he wound down that we don't understand the unintelligible wants he is trying to express and that he needed to use his "words".  You'd be surprised how much differently he behaves now.  Now he knows he can communicate without getting upset and throwing a tantrum.  He is in control.  He is learning that he is a person of value and he only reverts to tantrums where he knows he can get what he wants by doing that.  When he is here at Grandma and Grandpa's house, he uses his words, and even told his older sisters one day when they were arguing, that they needed to use "their words...like me" he said.  He's 5.  He's very tiny, and was born with many problems of a physical nature.  But now, what a joy he is because he feels like he matters.  He is in control, likes being able to express himself in words, and is the funniest, wittiest, sweetest little youngster I've had the pleasure to know in a long time.  Of course, all my kids were perfect!  Ha ha  If I'd known half the things my daughter knows about little kids, my life would have been a lot calmer and I would have put value on different things.

You can't go back and change the past.  But thankfully children grow up and as adults you can cover a lot of ground you missed out on when they were small.  You can't change anyone else, but you can express yourself in meaningful ways, and not only with words.  You can alter your own behavior if you've been fortunate to be blessed with a lot of introspection and self-awareness.  I don't know about you, but I've had a lot of problems in the past and they were so drastic that I had to have professional help at a very young age.  It wasn't any one's fault, it was a chemical imbalance in my brain and nothing changes that but the proper medication and a lot of therapy.  Now that I am well, and as normal as the next guy, I find so much joy in the little things in life, and I really do count that as a blessing.  I also can't change the past, and I regret a lot of it, but why waste one moment worrying about what happened yesterday?  We are all here to learn, to grow, to love and to experience to the fullest the joys and wonders of life.  How sad it would be if I were to be this well, and spend the rest of my life regretting the years I was ill?  That would be a total waste. 

I am blessed to have a truly wonderful husband that to me is a gift from God himself, 3 wonderful children that love us, and our seven intelligent and beautiful and sweet grandchildren that make our family circle a rich and vibrant color to paint the canvas of life with.  When you find your inner peace, and "Your Words", you can alleviate much suffering in the lives of others.  That's what I've been attempting to do here.  I have much to give.  I have a heart full of love and a desire to help others, but sadly, the folks never come here.  And if they do, they don't find it interesting.  It's not "hip", not the "In-thing" I guess.  But there are people in need and I've come to realize that all the love I have poured out here could be better directed.  I will post occasionally when I have something to say, but I am at peace over the disinterest and I know that my family needs things and my home needs some TLC that I am going to apply in great measure.

You do what's important to you, a very wise man once told me.  It is very important to help others.  I serve my God by helping others.  But if no one ever avails themselves of the words I speak here, I will speak them somewhere else, but not with my voice only, but my actions.  I learned at an early age what it feels like to be ignored and put aside.  I didn't like it then, and I don't like it now.  I can't force anyone to read this, I don't know if there's anyone out there who even needs it.  But I have 2 eyes and I can see all around me the things I could improve.  As I said, I will post occasionally as the mood strikes me, and I will share joyously the wonderful things I have in my own life.  But I first and foremost am going to put my words into actions in my own life and in the lives of those I love and if I have time when I'm through with my day, I may say a word or 2.  My 5 year old grandson has shown me the value of "my words".  They are powerful and they give you confidence and self-assurance.  My words are meant to heal and to help.  More than that I cannot offer.  If you need peace, I direct you to your own soul.  If you find monsters there that need taming, do so.  If you find worry, cast it out.  If you need love, start loving yourself and transform yourself.  Learn that "your words" have power to make you or break you.  This
will be the essence of the posting.